I drive what I like to call a “big nasty.” More specifically, it is a full-size, luxury SUV that gets 15 miles per gallon of premium (only!) gas. Perhaps you’ve seen it. I have no way of verifying this, but I suspect that among evangelicals of my generation, environmental stewardship is coming to be seen as a biblical imperative. I’ve internalized this commitment, which is why I am loath to drive this car. Though, some days, this loathing pales in comparison to the pain of paying for 22+ gallons at the pump. So, I guess that’s another thing – it simply doesn’t seem to be the wisest use of the financial resources God gives us.
Yet, this car was a gift of love and sacrifice from my (non-Christian) Taiwanese American parents. Many second generation children (children born in the US to immigrant parents) understand gifts of this nature in the context of their parents’ struggle to secure a better life for their children. How, then, can a second generation child like me reject a gift like this without dishonoring my parents’ generosity (they knew we can’t afford a car on our own) and concern for safety (they very genuinely emphasize the safety of the vehicle)???
Do I choose between care of creation and the fifth commandment? Or can I somehow ‘have it all’?
Some might think it the easier route to say that since my parents aren’t Christians, I don’t have to obey them. I don’t think it’s that simple. Is honor only deontological? That is, is there some prewritten game-plan for how to honor parents? OR, is honor also, to some degree, existential and situational? That is, if my parents feel dishonored (relationally AND culturally), am I not in some way responsible?
I’d love to hear what you think! And pity me the next time you me driving the “big nasty!”
Yet, this car was a gift of love and sacrifice from my (non-Christian) Taiwanese American parents. Many second generation children (children born in the US to immigrant parents) understand gifts of this nature in the context of their parents’ struggle to secure a better life for their children. How, then, can a second generation child like me reject a gift like this without dishonoring my parents’ generosity (they knew we can’t afford a car on our own) and concern for safety (they very genuinely emphasize the safety of the vehicle)???
Do I choose between care of creation and the fifth commandment? Or can I somehow ‘have it all’?
Some might think it the easier route to say that since my parents aren’t Christians, I don’t have to obey them. I don’t think it’s that simple. Is honor only deontological? That is, is there some prewritten game-plan for how to honor parents? OR, is honor also, to some degree, existential and situational? That is, if my parents feel dishonored (relationally AND culturally), am I not in some way responsible?
I’d love to hear what you think! And pity me the next time you me driving the “big nasty!”
Jeff Liou is a first year Masters of Divinity Student at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School.
2 comments:
This is an interesting issue you put forth. I understand direct parental authority, Biblically, as being binding until one is married. I usually look at Genesis 2:24 for a text to support this idea. I think the idea that we will leave our father and mother and cleave or hold fast to our wife is indicative of this transfer of authority. Also, I would say that we are still obligated to honor our parents (fifth commandment) but we are no longer under their direct authority. In addition, once you marry if you were still under your parents strict authority it would be binding for your wife to obey your parents even though she has her own parents, thus if both parents still exercised direct authority over their children when they married they would not only be exercising authority over their children but their child’s spouse as well. However both in-laws can’t both have authority because there would be a conflict of interest and of authority. I think after your married you must honor your parents which sometimes means doing what they say but not always, but certainly always maintain a good degree of respect. I think this idea of honoring your father and mother applies in cases where your parents may feel as though you should do something that you morally object to. If you object to something they ask you to do on Biblically moral grounds then I think you can respectively and in an honoring way disobey. So when it comes to driving “Big Nasty”, I think you would have to make that call sense it’s not always that simple to apply this principle in many real life situations.
I'm glad you brought this up. To many thinkers (including Reformed and many Jewish interpreters), the Fifth Commandment continues to apply as long as your parents are alive! According to their view, marriage does not abrogate, for example, the responsibility of children to provide financially for aging parents.
I'm not 100% sure that they're right, but I have to wonder if the impulse to abrogate the fifth commandment for various reasons is a Western one!
So, my post is intended to be a kind of a ethical/cultural/justice question all at the same time!
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